How To Spot A Shemale

Shoulders

Give the shemale bitch the cold shoulder if "her" shoulders are wider than "her" hips, because, again, most likely, "she" ain't no lady. Women's shoulders-to-hips ratio is typically more in proportion to one another.

Adam's apple

The apple got stuck in Adam's throat, not Eve's, so if "she" has one, "she's" probably a he. Ann Coulter and Sandra Bullock are both transsexuals, although they've both been able to pass, at least in some circles, as women. Bullock, despite the masculine sound of "her" surname and "her" obviously masculine throat, has succeeded well enough to be accepted as female by much of the world's population and is always referred to as an actress rather than as an actor.

Unfortunately, the plastic surgeons have found a way to "shave" the Adam's apple, which enables transsexuals who have had this procedure to "pass" more easily as female mimics. For those who can't afford this alteration, there are always turtlenecks and scarves. Stay away from "women" who wear such neck attire.

Hands

Big hands probably indicate a he-man, even if he's dressed in drag, so look for more than a wedding ring when you check out this portion of your "lady's" anatomy.

Terminology

Transsexuals seldom call themselves "transsexuals" or "shemales," and many don't go by "ladyboys," either, especially in front of men they want to con into sex-for-hire or a long-term relationship. Instead, when they refer to their "condition" at all, it's usually in code, so a wise man will learn the jargon before it's too late.

Coyness

If you reach for "her" you-know-what and "she" snatches your hand away, it's probably because "her" package isn't what you'd expect a lady to have "down there." If they prefer backdoor sex after a bit of fellatio, as Sarah Michelle Gellar reportedly does, that's another tip that your "girlfriend" might be a boyfriend.